And reminds me that I need to write a post about bisexuality and polyamory at some point.
(Note: I do have some issues with the way this article is structured, however I think its well written and researched. I think it'd be better off as two separate papers, but that's just my take.)
17 October 2008
The types of people who are poly.
(I've been trying to write this post for weeks. School and other things kept getting in the way... so back to my post)
So, in very quick summary.... poly people generally are trying to be more self-aware, are as flawed and injured as anyone else, have a better idea (in my experience) of what they want and tend to be a whole lot more sex positive.
Really, this doesn't make them stand out in a crowd, unless of course they are standing with all their partners and clearly treating them equally in terms of affection or there is some other sign. Poly people generally are very little different from the rest of the world at large. The biggest difference really comes down to how we build our relationships and what we're willing to do to have those relationships.
Monogamy is only one option in the types of relationships that people can have, polyamory is another. Poly people can (and some are) be religious, they just don't tend to accept all the rules or customs of their religion. They study, have families, work, contribute, volunteer and live next door to you.
Despite all the negative press that polyamory, polygamy, polygyny and polyandry gets, provided that everyone is in agreement, that boundaries are set and respected, these options are as valid as the accepted cultural norms. It really does not end up all in tears any more than relationships do in the monogamous world.
So, anyone who is willing to do the work that is required in themselves and in their relationship (if they are in one), who is willing to respect boundaries, start sorting out what they want and who knows that they can love more than one person at a time, or continue love someone who can love more than one person at a time, can consider entering the great big world of poly.
So some resources for everyone:
PolyMatchMaker is a good site with excellent forums (and match making functionality) where discussions about all things poly (and some things not). There is a vibrant community involved with some really wonderful people. If you're not from Australia, its a good place to start to find out if there is a poly community near you, and to find out more about poly people in general.
Bi-Victoria is a website for the bisexual community in Victoria, Australia. There is a sister group "Poly-Victoria" that uses Bi-Victoria's website to list their social meetings and discussion group events. Check the list on the left-hand side of the page for more information.
There are also two Yahoo! groups in Australia (and no doubt more worldwide) that act as a mailing list in relation to poly issues. I don't subscribe to them myself (I don't have time), but James does. There is a good list here.